


(dying) to live again

by nusrat



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/F, the author is a whore for angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:52:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24891889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nusrat/pseuds/nusrat
Summary: Heroes will die in sacrifice, such is their fate.But heroes never die, do they?
Relationships: Fareeha "Pharah" Amari/Angela "Mercy" Ziegler
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	(dying) to live again

**Author's Note:**

> it's 5am and i did not sleep

Romance novels always said it was hard loving a hero. Heroes don’t know calm, don’t know peace; Heroes don’t know how to belong, not to a single person. They are not even their own, belonging to the world and the people they swore to protect;

Heroes will die in sacrifice, such is their fate.

But heroes never die, do they?

Angela thought that perhaps that would make it easier _, she hoped_. Alas, she was wrong.

Angela thought she was strong, strong enough to endure that pain. Alas, was she wrong?

The first time it happened felt like the bullet had pierced her own chest. A piece of herself was lost when she raised her hand and watched that yellow glow cover her lover’s body.

The second time it happened felt like she was reliving the first but with the added pain of this new death. Another piece of herself was lost there.

The third time it hurt so much she did not feel a thing. Was there any other piece of herself to lose?

Angela has no clear memory of the past two days. All she knows is that, at the very least, she did her job. She played her part as Mercy and let no hero fall.

Her ears were still ringing, though; her skin could still feel the heat of the explosions and her eyes could still see it happening.

One single bullet and multiple pieces of the Raptora were falling down the sky like rain. It pierced right through the suit’s rocket storage, igniting a chain of explosions from one shoulder to another, blowing up the fuel tank on the back and shredding the suit to pieces. It shredded her lover to pieces but...

_Heroes never die._

_They don’t._

_Do they?_

\\\

Technology had mended Pharah’s body back into the shape it used to be, not a single scar left and not a limb lost. Yet, for two days, she did not wake.

Angela ran her fingers lightly along Fareeha’s arm. Images of body parts scattered through the battlefield flashed through her mind and she needed to keep her eyes open, needed to see that Fareeha was alive and whole. She _needed to_ or else she would break.

She looked so peaceful. Had she felt anything? Was it quick?

No matter what, Angela knew nothing would bring her comfort. How could she ever forget watching her lover die like that? How could she forget the way she had to patch up a body so torn it was barely recognizable?

Angela wasn’t wearing the Valkyrie but felt the weight of its wings nonetheless, pushing her down and making it hard to breathe. She cried, sobbed. She wanted to scream.

She does not remember what happened after that but Ana was there to greet her when Angela woke up hours later, confused and with an insistent pain pulsing through her skull. She was back in her quarters.

“She will wake up. My daughter is strong,” Ana said. She sounded like she was trying to convince herself.

Angela’s eyes filled with fresh tears. Ana moved closer, sat by her side and took Angela’s head on her lap. “Come here, child,” she cooed, “You love my daughter, don’t you?” There were tears in her eyes too.

Angela cried.

\\\

Another two days passed before Fareeha finally woke up. She had a weak smile on her face and her voice was just a breathless whisper. Once cleared to leave the med bay, the other agents threw her a party. They bought blue balloons that had little birds drawn on them and put up a board full of notes with their well wishes from when she was out.

They played board games until it was late and no one mentioned the unfortunate event nor anything Overwatch related for the entire night.

No one dared comment on how the Raptora still lay in broken pieces inside Brigitte’s workshop. They could not even recover all of it.

Once they were back into Fareeha’s quarters, blessedly alone, Fareeha said she was sorry.

\\\

A few weeks later Helix held a ceremony to reward Fareeha with a new medal.

_For your valiant sacrifice. You died to secure your team’s victory and now you live once more to do it all over again._

Angela left the room.

Fareeha found her minutes later. There was no one else in the restroom with them.

“They want you to do it again,” Angela whispered so quietly it felt like she was talking to herself. “They want you to do it again,” she repeated, louder this time. “I watched you get blown to pieces and they–” she paused. She looked down to her shaky hands and took a deep breath. “They want you to do it again. And it hurts _so much_ because I know you will.”

\\\

The first time Angela saw _Pharah_ again she felt sick. She ran to the nearest restroom and threw up her breakfast. It was hard to breathe, her hands were shaking and she felt cold all over but her forehead was slick with sweat.

Morrison deemed her unfit for the mission and Zenyatta took her place instead. Fareeha placed a kiss on the crown of her head and left.

\\\

Angela woke up when she felt the mattress dip behind her and could not stop the sobs when she felt Fareeha’s warm embrace.

“Hey,” she heard the soft voice. “I’m okay. No dying this time, see?”

She turned around and buried her face on Fareeha’s collarbone, trying her best to slow her breathing while her lover’s hand softly caressed her back.

\\\

Ana finds her crying in her lab a few days later. It is well past midnight and all the other agents have gone to their quarters already. She approached Angela quietly and put a comforting hand on her shoulder, rubbing affectionately.

“I can’t watch her die again,” she sobbed.

“I know, child. I know”

**Author's Note:**

> there's no way angela is okay with watching her birb girlfriend die and rezzing her just to watch it happen again and again. nothing will change my mind on this.
> 
> i'm elliesrage on twitter


End file.
